My boyfriend and I of two years recently got engaged. (Cue the tears of joy)
I have watched and waited for this season with the Lord. This promise fulfilled hasn’t come without a few other seasons before it, however. Seasons like singleness and dating. Each season reserved for its own growth and lesson. Each season that I wouldn’t wish away in hindsight.
Now I am walking into a new season…ENGAGED!
I can’t yet list what this season holds but it is NEW, full of TRANSITION and JOY, yet this kind of season I have never known with the Lord. One thing I can speak to, however, is this: Seasons, no matter how long awaited, all have their challenges and overwhelming goodness… sometimes all at the same time, or like waves – one moment challenged and it’s hard, then the next moment, this overwhelming gratefulness for the very place and space in time that I’m standing. Both moments, accompanied with the rush of gratitude to God and His faithfulness for this very time. Each season full of grace for the season it is. Each season, leading me a little deeper into God.
If we’ve spoke the past two years, you might know I suffered from a traumatic brain injury that debilitated a lot of things in my life, then I was healed in February 2024 (yet some residual things have tried to pop back up since). Then one month after being miraculously healed, my boyfriend of two years proposed.
My heart has still not caught up.
Healed. Engaged. Just like that. *snaps*
I still can’t understand God’s goodness to me.
The day after I was healed, I cried tears of joy for more than 48 hours. I could not wrap my head around this and it was an over flowing of thankfulness. The day after I was engaged, same tears. The moment didn’t feel real, even when it was happening! I sat the next morning trying to process it all with God and I could only get out more tears of joy, as if it was my only language. I had tears that spoke louder than any words I could muster up. All tears pointing to gratitude and unending joy for what He has done.
The joy hasn’t overtaken the challenges however and because of that, this has led me to dig deeper and lean a little bit further on the Lord. I thought walking into a long awaited “promise land” would be a little bit different. Different in the way as feeling less stressed and more over joyed – daily…but that hasn’t been my truth. Different as in not realizing the pressure I’d put on myself for being “healed” and needing to carry out the very reasons God has planted and placed me here, for a such a time as this. Different as in, thinking my fiancé and I would be in some Lala-love-land as we planned our big day, but instead we live real lives, with real issues and have real challenges and it’s not always romantic. I’ve struggled walking into the goodness laid out before me. The one story that seems to be my daily bread in this season, just so happens to be about this very thing: Joshua and Caleb about to enter into the land flowing with milk and honey.
We see the whole story start with being met with this “promise land” just as God promised then searching it out to find that it is exactly what God promised; it has this ripe juicy fruit to top it off and a few giants. What the Israelites would have to do next is take the land (by obedience and effort on their part). It all begins in Numbers 13, we see Moses, by word of the Lord, send out twelve spies into the land flowing with milk and honey. Ten of those spies came back with a negative, fearful report. Caleb, however, who was one of the twelve spies, spoke up and said they should take possession of the land; he was fully believing they could do it. (Numbers 13:30) The same ten men said that they could not however. This then caused weeping throughout the community for the night (Numbers 14:1), which led to men wanting to rebel, appoint a new leader and return to Egypt. They grumbled saying God left them to die by the sword. Egypt looked better to them once again. Whenever they were met with difficulty or something outside of their own ability, the Israelites would jump to wanting to return to where they came from.
I need to pause here and point to the fact, that Israel wanting to return to Egypt and believing God left them once again at this very moment, was after God parted the Red Sea, after He was a cloud by day and pillar of fire by night and after He rained down mana daily for them to eat… Israel still had not trusted God or even tried to looked back at these acts that God had already done as a place to start trusting when met with hardship.
When fear struck the community, Joshua and Caleb tried to sway them once more to trust the Lord by saying that the land was really good that they spied out and we should not rebel against the Lord or fear the people of the land because the Lord is with us! It was an example of such great faith. But since fear had already struck their hearts, they wanted to stone Joshua and Caleb for this. The whole thing did not end well for that generation of Israelites. Spoiler alert is Israel continued to wander in the wilderness for forty years after this moment because fear prevailed and they showed no unity of faith over the matter. The Lord was not pleased, to say the least, with this unbelieving generation and vowed that no one from this generation would enter the Promised Land – except Caleb and Joshua that is. (Numbers 14:30)
When the time finally came to cross over into the land flowing with milk and honey, forty years later, we are now in the book of Joshua. After the death of Moses, the Lord says to Joshua that he will cross over into the Promised Land. “Therefore arise, cross this Jordan, you and all this people, to the land which I am giving to them, to the sons of Israel.” Joshua 1:2
Yet it doesn’t end there, the Lord seems to commission Joshua, saying “Everyplace on which the sole of your foot treads, I have given it to you, just as I spoke to Moses. From the wilderness and this Lebanon, even as far as the great river, the river Euphrates, all the land of the Hittites, and as far as the Great Sea toward the setting of the sun will be your territory. No man will be able to stand before you all the days of your life. Just as I have been with Moses, I will be with you; I will not fail you or forsake you.” V. 3-5.
“Be strong and courageous, for you shall give this people possession of the land which I swore to their fathers to give them. Only be strong and courageous; be careful to do according to all the law which Moses, my servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, so that you may have success wherever you go. V. 6-7.
This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” V. 8-9
From this commissioning, Joshua is now entering into a new season (crossing over into the promised land). I think it is good to point out that Joshua was commanded to do a daunting task, while surrounded by things to be afraid of. The task at hand was taking on an enormously huge responsibility…and the real kicker was, this was all new! Joshua was asked to lead a nation, keep the covenantal law and then was encouraged to be strong and courageous (because this is how he would have to walk forward with the Lord to do this well) and this was the key: GOD IS WITH YOU.
Anytime we step into a new season, there are questions and doubts that can easily pop up. For Joshua, I am sure he had all the same fears and doubts that wanted to arise as time went on, which is why this commissioning from the Lord was so important. Questions that could have come up for Joshua, which I’m speculating, are: Am I enough? Will I be able to lead as well as Moses did? Am I enough for this task? What if I don’t know what I’m doing? Can I lead an entire nation? Will we be able to take the land that’s promised? Will others listen to me or want to stone me? How do I lead when I am scared? I’m sure that Joshua needed to hear “be strong and courageous” multiple times because he would have moments of doubt as he walked forward. The Lord may give us commands, but He also tells us things we need to know for moments we are about to walk into. This is His divine wisdom and warning, so our part is this: hold tight to His word in each season.
This story reminds me, and points me back, to the fact that when those really big, overwhelming, transitional seasons or tasks in life come, they can only be done with God and by God.
As if this wasn’t enough, I have more. All week I have been studying Psalm 84, which is about God’s living presence being our greatest joy, and this brings me right back to verse 7, “They go from strength to strength; Each one appears before God in Zion.”
“Strength to strength“. I am sure we have heard someone say this before, how those who walk with God, go from strength to strength. This story of Joshua makes me think of man who is about to see what it means to go from strength to strength as he walks forward into promise. As I did my study over this particular verse, and got busy cross referencing, it brought me a better understanding of what it actually means to go from strength to strength, which I’d like to share.
First, I will break down the process (and that may not seem interesting) then I will explain what I found.
I first started with writing out Psalm 84:7, then I checked the cross references listed in my bible to this verse. The cross references listed in my bible are Proverbs 4:18, Isaiah 40:31, John 1:16 and 2 Corinthians 3:18. I wrote each cross reference and left room underneath each one.
Now, each one of these cross references, has cross references of their own, which I also looked into (but I did not go further than that so that I could still connect the verses back to the original verse). Here is how it looked: The first cross reference to Psalm 84:7, was Proverbs 4:18, “But the path of the righteous is like the light of the dawn, that shines brighter and brighter until the full day.” I wrote this out. Then I looked up the cross reference to this verse, Proverbs 4:18, which are Isaiah 26:7, Matthew 5:14, Philippians 2:15 and 2 Samuel 23:4. I then wrote out each one of these verses. After writing out these cross references, I looked back over them to connect them all back to Psalm 84:7. I was then able to reflect on their truths in relation to the original verse and wrote a summary of how these verses support the truth that those whose strength is in God, go from strength to strength. I did this process for each cross reference listed for Psalm 84:7. So, by the end, I had four separate summaries that I was then able to put into one big reflection summary.
Here is what I found it means to go from “strength to strength”:
We are the light of the world and made righteous before God, who is fully righteous. Righteousness can only be IN God and FROM God. In our righteousness (which is given from Him), we are blameless and strengthened. I believe, this points back to, that our righteousness draws us back to the righteous One and we are once again refreshed, once again strengthened and once again ready for the day ahead.
Those who wait on God, trusting in Him, building confidence in Him, not only are they strengthen but they are blessed. Those who rest, wait, persevere, have clean hands and surrender their life – these are the ones who are strengthened. This life is full of hardship and troubles, but Jesus, which is why we have hope.
It is from Christ’s fullness (deity) that we have received –we glean from Christ’s fullness which gives us strength. We bring Christ glory of who He is, as we go from grace to grace.
We are continually being transformed in to the image of God. The one who is victorious over all things. Therefore, as we find or identity in Him, we are strengthened in all things. Our transformation to be more Christlike, is our strength to strength. All from Christ and through Christ, for our benefit and sake.
Now, when I look at Joshua, I am not so terrified of his big task at hand. He had Christ. This is why those words that God shared with Joshua was so important – Be strong and courageous! I will be with you!
It was of God that Joshua could take the promised land. It was of God that he had the ability to remain courageous during this time. Only God could have carried out the word that He spoke into existence, Joshua was simply a willing vessel. As Joshua did this, he saw the rivers of Jordan dry up so that the Israelites could cross into the promised land and he saw the walls of Jericho come crashing down as they marched around it. Joshua trusted the word of the Lord. So, this tells me that as we rest a little more in God’s ability, and not our own, we go from strength to strength.
As I walk into this big season myself, I can’t help but point this back to my own story. If God has called me to be a wife that impacts the kingdom, He gives me the ability and everything I need to be a woman of righteousness. He blesses the marriage He has brought me into. I can’t be a good wife by my own ability. I can’t be a righteous woman on my own ability. I can’t serve God’s people on my own ability. The marriage that I have waited and prayed for, can only be done by God, and through God, and may I be the vessel that He takes from strength to strength in it. May I be a servant who is strong and courageous in the face of really big life challenges, because I let God refresh me once again as I am being made new, trusting God to complete His work in me and through me.
I use to think I could work hard enough to be that good woman myself, like God can get me started but then I’ll reach a point where the training wheels have to come off and I need to start working really hard to make things happen. I see now, that has been me going wheels off! That has been me taking off without Him. So, I’ve learned that if I ever take off, that is my own doing and it will be hard. I am meant to depend more on God the more I walk with Him. A life of surrender leads to more surrender, not less.
Now that I see what strength to strength is, in the face of big life changes, it makes sense to me that marriage sounds big and scary; especially now that it is becoming a reality for me. The bigger something may be, the scarier it may be, and just like Joshua going into his land “flowing with milk and honey”, I get to lean a little bit deeper and cling a little bit tighter to the One who I would surrender everything to as I walk into mine.
Marriage, isn’t about me getting close to my soon-to-be husband, but I believe, it is a love story about God and I. It’s about me getting closer to Him and letting my soon-to-be husband be an expression of love, of God’s love, to me. This season may feel different than I expected, but I believe, I’m right where I need to be. I’m realizing that somewhere these past few months, I picked back up the habit or belief of needing to make things happen myself again and when I do that, I fall short. I am here once again, leaning on you Lord, to guide me in my healing, guide me in my engagement and guide me in loving my fiancé well during this season. Not out of my own strength, but Yours.
by Melinda Suzanne 